This morning, when I came out of doing radio, I met an old friend.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“I need to start a real job anytime now,” I sighed.
“What do you want to do?” he prodded on.
I didn’t have an answer. I am enjoying my stress-free life. Do I really want to go back to the life I that led when I was working? I didn’t quite enjoy the rush to work every morning. The deadlines. The meetings. The works. I am not a 9 to 5 person. I’ve said that many times and people who know me know that well enough too. I am a hard worker. Real hard worker. But only when I can set my own time of work. I don’t like to be supervised. I don’t want to be told of deadlines. I’d rather set my own. Tough, it can’t be the case in your regular corporate setup. You have to learn to deal with authority. (Unless, as P keeps suggesting, I start my own business … pshhh who has the energy for that (as I further explain)?)
“I think I want to be a bank teller,” I said to my friend.
He looked shocked. “A bank teller????” he couldn’t believe me.
Sure you have to deal with authority there too but it is relatively a stress-free job than a decision-making role where your decision makes or breaks your employer’s profit.
“Sure,” I replied to his query, “I did it back when I was 19 and I think I can still do it.”
“Of course, you can do it, you idiot … but what with your education and all?”
“Honestly, that’s the only time I remember really enjoying my job,” I defended, “Part-time hours, no stress, you go in attend to customers, go home without any stress of what is to come tomorrow. I love talking to people, I love numbers, I love easy hours, it’s a perfect combination! Yeah, money is not great at all … but big money’s never my concern. I think, a bank teller it is.”
“You are crazy”, he concluded. Like that was something new. Bah. ;))
But am I really though? It has somehow become a taboo now to say that despite being an educated woman, your husband is the primary breadwinner. I feel that conflict too many times and I express it to husband plenty of times as well in so many words. Ironically, it is he who has to remind me that it’s a choice that ‘I’ made. It was my decision to take it easy. Then why do I let others make me feel guilty? Why does everyone look confused when I tell them that I am not doing anything (except radio of course) rite now? I volunteer my time away, dedicate my time to hobbies that I enjoy, take care of my house, and just chill *pardon the cliche*. If I am lucky enough to have a partner who is able to take care of us, it should be alright for me to live my life as I please, rite?
Unfortunately, in our extra drive towards equality to men, we’ve somehow lost ourselves. In our pursuit of perceived equality, we don’t focus on what we really want. Our generation was raised to prove that as women, we are capable of doing everything that a man can. And we have proved that too! Many times over! But does that necessitate that we live with that burden all our lives? The movement of feminism has done us much good. However, if we lose ourselves to the ideals of feminism without figuring out what we want, some of us are bound to burn ourselves out eventually. That’s not to say that there are no women for whom only high flying careers with 16 hour days mean happiness. There are. Plenty. Good for them too. Just as long as they don’t – consciously or subconsciously – feel socially pressured to prove their caliber as women.
As I was processing these thoughts in my head while driving home, I was reminded of an article that I had read not so long ago: Women opting out of the rat race. I came home, read it again, and a few lines stood out to me this time more than when I had read it:
Every week we hear stories of former high-fliers who find the happiness working in their local coffee shop - or volunteering with the RSPCA - that they never found in their private banks or property jobs. Who needs to work 15-hour days for a job that could be gone in a second? And did success even make us happy?
Vanessa now spends her days painting and doing some freelance marketing work. Despite having a masters degree and ten years of corporate experience, she reckons she’s bringing in a £15,000 salary - about the size of her expense account at her old job.
In the run-up to Christmas she even helped out in a friend’s restaurant to get some cash. She admits it’s quite a step down for a girl who was one of the youngest directors in her last company.
‘Some nights I worried that someone from my old job would come in and see me waiting tables,’ she says, ‘But then I had to remind myself that I’m happier now than I ever was.
‘In the past few months, I’ve spent time with my grandmother, who isn’t going to be around for ever, I’m there for friends who need me and I’m just so relaxed. Some days, the biggest thing I do is go for a walk - and I love it.’
Oh I thought of that too! On the drive home. What if I do take up a job as a teller and someone I know walks in? Again, like the lady in the example, I had to remind myself that it would be my choice. I would no longer be socially pressured to perform more than I want to. A flawless argument it is. :) It only falls flat when P looks at me with a straight face and says, “World needs more out of you. You must do your share by living up to your potential!” Blah! It shall happen when the time comes. For now, I’d be depositing your cash and advising you not to spend it. ;D That is, if any bank hires me. haha
Moral of the story simply is that as being a househusband is gaining coolness, being a housewife shouldn’t be forced to lose it. It’s best to figure out what you want and not just be as the society expects you to be. Be the person that you are and that’s when you’ll be your happiest.
OR
Another moral is that I am just lazy. HA HA HA!!!! :D
Cheers homies.
Edited to add:
So why is it just women who are dropping out of the rat race? Why don’t men get equally stressed at work? I don’t know. I am no anthropologist or a sociologist. But my layman explanation is that while we, women, can’t get the stress of dirty dishes in a sink out of our heads, men don’t even see ‘em dishes. :/
And hey, look, even IHM wrote a post on something similar!! :) In extension to what IHM writes, I want to add: Be who you are and don’t be apologetic about your choices either. At least, you have a choice … which many don’t.










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