By publicizing kids’ lives online, I mean putting their photos on blogs and/or writing about them like on mommy/daddy blogs. Is it safe? That’s a question I’ve often caught myself asking when I see pictures of young children online open for public view. Most recently, it was Mandira who put the same question in me head. With this post, I don’t mean to offend anyone or trivialize anyone’s efforts to record lives of their children. I am merely trying to weigh the pros and cons of putting the life of kids and their pictures online.
Despite personally not being in favor of a kids’ blog in full public view, I must confess that my voyeuristic tendencies do win over my rationalities and I do enjoy reading about someone’s kid’s newest antics especially if they are written well. I like looking at kiddie pictures too reminding me of perceptions and outlooks that we lose as adults. I know my reason of looking at these blogs is only to make myself smile and be awed by innocence that I left so far behind. I absolutely adore kids and more kids to read about, to see in pictures, the better for me … but it bothers me that there could be a creep next door who is saving all these pictures on his computer and digitally manipulating them to do god-knows-what? He could also be making profile-sketches of the children that he is interested in by reading all the information that mothers are so lovingly sharing with their audience. Equipped with the knowledge of a child’s likes/dislikes, recentmost happening in their lives, personal stories, how hard is it for this creep to sweet talk a child who he can easily recognize from the photos he has been saving for months?
Before I paint a really bad picture of mommyblogging, I’ll hold myself back and state that there are many mommybloggers who are successfully making money off their blogs and there are plenty who are doing it merely for their own satisfaction and personal enjoyment. One of them is Heather Armstong (aka Dooce) who enjoys traffic of 5-6 million page views a month. She and her husband are no longer working full-time and make enough money off the blog itself. Although Heather says that she “has seen photos of her daughter manipulated online“, she seems to be alright with it and continues to blog about her daughter with pictures, videos and the works. What works for her wouldn’t work for me but it doesn’t mean that she is wrong. If she is comfortable with putting her daughter and her family life in public view, I shall not judge her in any manner. It’s making her money and she’s liking the audience, who am I to berate it?
Conclusion being … it’s not wrong to be mommyblogging/daddyblogging. It’s a personal choice but it’s necessary to take some safety precautions before laying everything bare on the space that you naturally assume to be your own. Remember that there are many creeps accessing internet just as much as you and me are. Spouses should also be proactively involved in supporting the decision of blogging about children and setting the required precautions in place. Just a few tips I picked up while reading about this topic online …
If you blog about your kids or family:
1. Do not give out any information or even the subtlest of hints about where you live
2. Do not state or imply the name of the school that your kid attends
3. Do not say anything about your work place
4. Do not give out names of your children or your own
5. Do not discuss your vacation/weekend plans online whether or not you will be taking kids along
6. Do not name the places you visited last … it’s not tough to search you up and eventually, your kids
7. Do not list the cars that you drive: the make, the color etc.
8. Do not give out too many personal details about your children (ex. their medical conditions, the food they like etc.)
9. Blur the pictures of kids if you can
10. Do not discuss topics that might attract people interested in topics completely unrelated to children (example: sex)
For more information, here is an article that discusses internet safety for you and your family in much more detail.
(Picture by me)
Thanks for the link! Great tips! This list is really good.
I really appreciated what one popular mommy blogger said at BlogHer: that she’s much more paranoid about been stalked while leaving the grocery store with her daughter… compared to having this happen online.
Rach: thank you so much for the inspiration to write on this topic. If I hadn’t found your blog, I might not even have bothered searching further because I would’ve thought that no one’s concerned and my fears are unfounded. thanks!! :)
Kids? I dont even put up my own pictures on the net. Yup, i agree with what you say when it comes to kids.
The net is nothing short of the Wild Wild West.
lp: now don’t get me scared about my pics too :p
I get what you’re saying. I have that lurking at the back of my mind every time I put up my kids photos. I think it helps to go back to the post a few days later and delete the pictures. So they’re up for only a short while.
a muser: yeah, it’s a personal choice …. i can understand that fear lurking … i mean, if it lurks in my mind, i can imagine it lurking in a mother’s head. :)
Awarded!! Come by to collect :D
hmm..nice post..cant believe ppl are actually making so much money outa blogging that they are giving up their jobs and chilling at home…!!!
thanks for the last couple of tips on safe mommy/daddy blogging.
heh mandi, question is whether you would want to do it? just put all your personal life on board, wash your laundry online, and u’ll be soon doing it from home too ;)
Initially, I did post pics of P, but I was never comfortable doing that. Stopped doing that some time back. I am even not comfortable writing in detail about him for the very reasons you mention. Very good post and good tips.
mystic: I think that is the best approach! Just keep the details and pictures off. Have to decide what’s more important : privacy or audience ….
Leave kids snaps, I think even putting up one’s pic is not safe!!! All the weirdos and psychos out there with morphing softwares really make me paranoid to put my pic online. But sometimes one cant just avoid divulging little about one’s work or family in posts whic may require that. Its sad to see we live constantly in fear and suspicion even in real life and e-life.
Reemz: yep, true that … but it’s not anything new … and it certainly would never be old. This fear and suspicion is here to stay and we just need to devise ways to live with it. It’s true you can’t just avoid divulging information …. just as long as we make a conscious effort of realizing the impacts of what we are writing and are willing to face the consequences, I think we’re alright. however, in terms of our kids or our family, i dun think we have any right on divulging information about them for the consequences they might suffer on our accord …… dunno, it’s really a grey area.
I agree 100% with you and would never recommend posting children’s photographs, besides any other personal information that may be misused, online in the public domain to any one.
ss: we agree on almost everything except something we have in common by birth. hehehe
You know when I started this blogger, that was what I was going to do. Show off OUR Families right.. Well, my husband and I got a thinking that WE have NO right to put up ANY one of OUR Family photo’s. Because, you do NOT know who will down load them and so on.. There are AOT of sicko’s and Nut Job’s out there..So, I just started writing about what’s in my head and Joke’s and Current Event’s.. I say NO WAY Jose to putting Children’s picture’s on ANY blogger or Website… To us that’s expossing them right off the bat.. Great Article and I think EVERYONE should read this!! wavemaker2.wordpress.com til l8er
wavemaker2: thank you very much for your appreciation. U know I’ve often wondered about this ‘right’ thing. Do we, as a parent or a family member, have the ‘right’ to share our children’s or family members’ life with the internet audience? If we put our own pictures with the knowledge of the possible consequences, it should be alright but is it okay for us to do the same for our kids? Do we have the ‘right’ to do that? I think you decided that you don’t have the right to expose them … and if I were you, I would’ve done the same.
Hi there! Just a drive by comment here but I have a few suggestions about pictures as well…
**Don’t add tags. It is tempting to tag your images so people can see them, but don’t as sickos will use them as key words (like using Google to search images). Same thing goes with descriptions.
**Don’t name your images what they are like “LIttle_jonnys_bath”. Just keep the name the number that your camera takes or use a date like 8212008. The name of your image can be used as a search term as well.
**On WordPress you have the option of password protecting posts and pages…use that feature so only those you trust can view them.
**Don’t post pictures of your kids half dressed, even small children…such as bath photos or such…that should be a given but I see a lot of people posting these things and I just wonder what the heck they were thinking…
:-)
Sandy: Hey, thanks!! Also, I must ask you photoshop questions now onwards!! :))
[...] Safe Kids [...]
I agree with you. We can not take chances with the lives of our near & dear ones on the pretext of becoming famous.
cuckoo: :) yes, … but we could be wrong. there are people who go on reality shows for money at the cost of losing their families. what works for them …. won’t work for us. but yes, i am with you 100%!
ah.. been there, blogged that :) so wont eat up any more of your space. I have done about three posts on this… will dig em up and send you links. good tips on the safety aspect though..
@ Cuckoo – actually not everyone blogs on the pretext of getting famous. Some blog to vent, others for a support system.. and so many more reasons. I am sure Roop here doesnt blog to ‘be famous’ either – even her Unchaahi blog is for a cause. everyone has reasons and they’re not all as simple as fame. So the comment on putting lives online to become famous doesnt really work for me.
11. Have ugly children.
I agree with Reema, even one’s own photos can be manipulated online. I had a paranoia about this earlier, but now am a little relaxed. However all my photos online are slightly distorted. :) No one will be able to recognize me in real life. Hopefully! :) I have not put up a single picture of me online that is not worked on in photoshop. But then that is my personality. I hate to write anything about myself but find that inadvertently I do! somethings just go out there, if one has to be natural and spontaneous.
emmemmie: thankie thankoo. would love to read ur posts. link me pliss?
virgil hart: haha
nita: Yep, it is true … but if we’re aware of the consequences and are willing to face ‘em, it’s all good, isn’t it. However, in children’s case, they’re still in our care …. they still don’t know good from bad to understand whether their pic should be online or not … so we have to make a decision for them …. and i dont think this is the sort of decision we can make for anyone else …. not even for our children.
My first time here…Got here from Ceekay’s blog.
I completely agree…with all of the points and all of the reasons. I loved your non-judgemental tone in writing about this important topic…
I have been teased for showing my posts to hubby first before publishing them…! But I do…esply ones i think need moderation and to make sure i don’t go overboard…and if it involves him…
Thanks for the other link. Will look at it too!
Bell the come, gnd!
and thank you for the compliment. I appreciates. :)
Yes, I think it’s a good idea to involve husband … i guess it also helps explore another dimension of the relationship… thanks for visiting, once again. :)
pleasure be mine :)
goodness, your series on abuse is very powerful…!
you’re a brave girl!! admire your survival instincts – REALLY!!
Excellent site, keep up the good work
I completely agree…with all of the points and all of the reasons. I loved your non-judgemental tone in writing about this important topic…
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Meanwhile us guys want to be Rik-Rok star missionaries caught up in Indiana Jones type adventures in jungle locations, fighting off slave traders and wild beasts, wondering if a cape and mask is proper jungle apparel. ,