Letter to a 3 month old

My sweetest mithai box

First, please be prepared for massive incoherence in this letter because I shall be writing this as I get fragments of time to write while spending time with you through the day. Second, I want to eat you. I do. Gobble up your cuteness. Everyone we meet anywhere and everywhere apparently wants to do the same. You’ve been called cute, you’ve been called pretty, you’ve been dubbed adorable, and I stand there holding you tight as the compliments come and you return the nice gestures with a gorgeous smile. I feel humbled. I feel like I am in a dream. I cannot believe that people are giving so much love to my daughter. My little angel. I run for the closest wooden door, and knock on it multiple times to break any jinxes there might be and to remind me that I am not dreaming. Nothing makes me happier than seeing you be loved by so many generously giving people. May you always be surrounded with such love and happiness.

Now that we are done with the mushiness, down to the technical updates. Today, you have lived your initial 12 weeks of life. Yep, that’s right! Technically, you are three months old today but going by your birthdate, we still have another 8 days to light up those candles. It’s easier for me to keep a track of your milestones in terms of weeks than your birthdate though. So please bear with me. We shall update you on your antics every four weeks of your life in the first year at least even though your father insists that I record all of your accomplishments as they happen. Psh your mother is too lazy for that. You know that. Plus lesser I write, lesser verbose clutter for you to read. :D So here we are. At 12 weeks. To complain about you. To fawn over you. To tell you how great and annoying you are. And yeah, I write this sitting in my recliner besides your crib. You are in your crib rite now cooing to your blanket as if it was a real person. :/ Maybe you are talking to the animals printed on the blanket but ah you 12 weeker, not so smart after all eh? :D :D

Alright, I spoke too soon. I’ve moved you to your swing now. You are swinging away as I speak to you. Telling you stories about world politics. About UK riots that were. About Gaddafi who was. About Anna Hazaare who is. You are listening intently now but I wonder how long I can hold your interest. You can only stay up an hour at a time. After an hour, you must sleep … ha ha which is a story that need be told.

You don’t like to sleep during the day, mera bachha. You fight it as if it’s something you should fear. Is it something you’ve inherited from your mother? Cuz she hates napping during the day too. You poor poor thing. You don’t want to sleep but your body can’t handle you staying up so long. So it forces you to rest it a while but you give sleep a good strong fight every time. You sometimes sleep in your swing after your grandma sings to you, talks to you, pats you, and calms you down into sleep. Too bad her efforts take her 30 minutes and you stay asleep for only 30-40 minutes to repeat the same cycle over again. If not the swing, it’s mommy’s arms that you find comfort and sleep in. I let you play these games all day until evening around 4 when I give you a quick massage and a shower to freshen you up, feed you, and take you to nap with me until 6 PM – 6:30 PM. That is the longest nap you take in the day and I have to lie down with you for the entire time for you to stay asleep. I’ve tried every trick in the book. I’ve listened to every idea every mother has kindly offered me but nothing works with you. And now, after 12 weeks of trying, I have come to accept that my daughter just does not like to sleep during the day and I am ok with it. I hope you will need lesser sleep during the day as you get older and that’d save you the constant fight you have to put up every day.

Despite that small hiccup, you are a lovely little thing really. Your smiles make my day. Your kicks of excitement when you see me, your sighs of comfort as you burrow your head into my shoulder, the way you stare at me as if expecting me to tell you how to be … all of that makes this job of loving you, caring for you, holding you all day absolutely worthwhile. Your grandmother says that you are an angel of a child. Although I disagree with her when she says it, I know that she is right. You don’t even cry when you are hungry. You just look at me with beseeching eyes with your lips puckering up for food. Of course, I melt and your need is met before you have to ask any further. If only, you could sleep … ah never mind, I shan’t complain anymore hehe. Talking of sleep though, I have to take you and rock you to sleep now cuz swing obviously is not doing the trick. Time for a massage and shower.

Awrite, here we are. You are smelling nice, swaddled, and tucked into my arm fast asleep. Ah it wasn’t long when I would lay you down on my chest and you’d sleep. Now I can’t breathe if I were to do that. You are growing up fast. You are outgrowing your clothes almost every week as everyone said you would. You smile all the time now. Occasionally giggle too. You coo. You try to talk back. You like people. You like interacting with them. You put up a performance of a flawless child for every new person you meet. You can’t roll over from your back to tummy yet but you try to sit up. Didn’t I say something about you 12 weeker being not so clever? ;p Grabbing things and taking them to your mouth is the next developmental milestone all of us are eagerly looking forward to. You are starting out on it. In a week or two, I’d have to be careful about everything within your reach. You are now grabbing your feet. They interest you a lot more than any plastic toy does. I wonder though if you’d grow up thinking that feet are supposed to be of a different color everyday cuz I keep changing your socks on you. :/

Ah my little doll, don’t I love testing you, your physical strengths, your mental growth, and your personality. Your grandparents often tell me that you are my daughter and not my toy. Phew. That must tell you how much I enjoy ‘playing’ with you and observing your reactions. The more I get to know you, the more I love you. Perhaps because I see a bit of me in you and a bit of the man I love. I want you to grow up so bad so I can talk to you, wrestle with you, throw you up in the air without you panicking, tickle you till you are breathless from laughter, run with you beating you while I still can, teach you how to ride a bike, cry with you if you get hurt …

For now though, you are my cuddly bear. You are not a fragile little thing anymore who needed my support to hold up her neck. You can hold yourself up now albeit a little wobbly. You really like wobbling your head towards your left side btw. You are getting pudgier so I am not so worried anymore about you slipping down rite from in between my arms. I do miss your tininess at times but I think I am one of those mothers who love their kids more as they get bigger. I can finally truly say now that I am crazily madly in love with you. That was not the case when you were a newborn. I was a panicky new mama: nervous and unsure of how to take care of you. Now we know each other a little better, have somewhat of a mutual understanding and we work it. You convey your needs to me in so many gestures and I answer them as soon as I can, and when I ask you to love me, you respond with your smiles and squeals of excitement. A perfect symbiotic relationship, I tell ya. :)

How did I change? I don’t mind eating cold food if that means I’d get to take care of you faster. I don’t mind eating anything you lick first. I don’t mind cleaning your poo and pee. I don’t mind you drooling all over me. I don’t mind you licking my neck and arms or any body part you come in contact with. Most importantly, I eat karela sabji happily as adults do. :/

Happy 12th week, my child. We made it so far and we have a long long road ahead. I am sure it’ll be a lot of fun with you as my company. I wish nothing but loads of happiness upon you. May you always be loved and always be happy. You brought so much joy to my life that even on my most tired days, I don’t mind rocking you to sleep and holding you in my arms without moving a muscle just so you can rest. Just like now. My arm is asleep, but so is my baby, and that matters more than anything else in the world at the moment.

I love you, my silly little 12 weeker. You might not know your numbers yet but I am certain that you would’ve mastered algebra by this time next year if you keep listening to your father teach you the number line every evening. And don’t you reserve your best smiles for him and his silly stories. I like you more. So you must like me more. Ha! :D Love ya, munchkin. I don’t know when you will read this but when you do, come give me a hug immediately after, ok? If I am not there with you, find my photo and kiss it. Ok, good. Thank you. :P I am not demanding at all.

Yours …
… forever. :)

ps: You got your passport photos done today, and you were fantastic! As you always are in public. Nazar utaaring happening most definitely in the evening today. Kaala teeka and all. Anti-jinx powers, I conjure you now! My baby was on her best behavior in public as usual, and is now fidgeting in my arms as I have to pat her to force her to nap. Ugh.

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