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We often see many bloggers write about their blogging material being copied, their ideas being confiscated and being dished out as original by the thief etc etc but have you heard of someone’s photo (picked up from this blog) being used in a magazine that is published in her hometown without her knowledge??? Don’t believe me? Have a look … this is a Punjabi magazine that is published in Canada whose designers thought that it would be a good idea to use my wedding picture besides an incoherently written piece of junk that the lady wants to pass off as an article WITHOUT my knowledge! The photo is picked off from this blog and not once did the thieves think that they should inform me or ask for my permission. They conveniently removed the front part of my blog address that IS inscribed on the photo and printed the photo as is. A friend of mine in Edmonton saw this magazine earlier today and immediately sent a phone snapshot of the page. I have contacted the sub-editor of this magazine who told me that he is sorry but it’s their designers in India who did this. Umm err, Sir, I might be a bit uninformed here but isn’t it an editor’s JOB to overlook what goes into publishing? Why are they publishing their names as ‘editors’ if they have no say in what goes to print? It is just so easy to put the blame on someone else, isn’t it? Let’s see where we take this from here. Perhaps the lawyer route! This is preposterous indeed! Many thanks to the friend who spotted this and sent it over … here are some snapshots but you can see an online version of the mag at http://www.nrisarokar.com/ (e-magazine of December 2009):
It might have been SOME consolation if I agreed with the views of the article that they posted my photo along with but it angers me even more thinking that I find that article and its tone towards women repulsive and my face is representing it! Disgusting! :(
I had to share this here. :| Really frustrated and hurt AND angry!
This had to go get published in my hometown eh? Go figure!!! Weird circle of fate, this is.
Blogging from phone.
I just received a text message from a young cousin in a language thoroughly incomprehensible for me. When I expressed my frustration back to her with a ‘huh? What language is that?’, she replied:
“Izz kewl, di. Mallika Sherawat also tox lke dis on twitter. Sves time.”
Eating up vowels saves time? Is it fair for you to gobble up a part of alphabet and tax my mind with gibberish, dear cousin? :( Yes, I realize that language has always evolved with time but please care for my eyes that are obviously unable to keep up with the process of evolution. A missing ‘i’ here or an ‘e’ there in written English causes me acute ocular pain. On account of that disability, could I please be spared from the truncated onslaught of ungrammatical English that sadly seems to be the norm lately with a lot of adults as well as with the kids?
True that these are busy times but please don’t skip a ‘u’ in haste because ‘I’ might suffer. Please think of me before you send me texts that I need to consult the script writers’ team from ET to decipher.
Yes, I’m a slow learner. :( I mite sun cach up tho. Pls hve patienc, drlng cuzn.
No, I won’t be moderating comments but I will be deleting any comments that talk negatively of MM here on.
Why, you ask?
Because I feel that the intended point has been made enough times. Whether it reached where it was meant to reach or not is immaterial.
Why didn’t I do this sooner?
There is always a right time for everything. Previously, I saw no need of denying anyone space as long as they kept their language clean and argument backed with personal experience or some evidence which everyone on this blog did! I am thankful to you lot. Now, however, I feel that there is no need of regurgitation of the same point anymore. Hence …
I was advised not to publish this post because it would give people a chance to ‘attack’ me. Yep, the word ‘attack’ was used by a well-wisher. Isn’t it amazing how we’ve resorted to verbal violence within days? :) But, of course, I published this … cuz I felt to share this with you. I don’t want to randomly start deleting comments and leave people wondering about where their comments went.
I am sorry for the inconvenience but ONLY the negative comments that are directed at me will be allowed now onwards; rest will be not.
MM is apparently ‘all done’ with this too, I am told, and has issued an official (stamped and notorized) last word. I haven’t read it yet and don’t intend to either. I am told, however, that I expressed my opinion on her blog to increase my blog traffic. Quite amazing that. Despite being in a state of perpetual confusion as diagnosed by MM ‘erself and followed by (fill in the blank), I am pretty capable of cunning strategies designed to attain a well-marked goal of winning some blog-popularity game that MM apparently leads. I do deserve a loud round of applause for accomplishing that task though considering my expertly diagnosed handicap.
A question that remains, however, is whether I achieved my goal or not? Sadly, nah. We’re still sitting at less than 2000 on our active days as we were before. Sad. All my plans failed.
In addition to being a confused strategizer, I am also a failure now. Roses and/or cash will help avert depression. Thank you.
And that is my official last word. Stamped and notorized.
Backkkk with a longggg post!!! :p
Yes yes, I missed you too. ;)
It has been a busy weekend followed by an equally busy Monday but trying to relax now with a Hindi flick: Rabb ne bana di jodi. The film being a Yash Raj production has a predictable story with equally (if not more) predictable acting by its cast but imagine the power that Yash Raj wields on me (post DDLJ especially) that I am still watching the movie past intermission. SRK is grating on my nerves. Literally. I have a splitting headache seeing him on screen but I can’t stop watching the film. One of my infamous quirks: I cannot stop watching a film once I start watching it no matter how bad it is. ;) P has suffered many a movies because of that and never loses a chance to blame me for it. He is thanking his stars that he wasn’t home when I started watching this film today. Oh man, it’s so terrible that I’d much rather eat Chinese food (which I am not a fan of btw) for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
The ONLY highlight of the film was to see Kajol for a brief few seconds. Ah where is she these days? Why aren’t there any more like her? :( I miss you, Kajol. Dearly so. Anywayyy, if you thought I am going to talk about RNBDJ for the next few minutes that I have to spare, bah, you are not wrong. :p Ok, I am not going to talk of the movie but of the issue it brings up.
If you’ve been reading me a while, you must know of my struggle with the idea of passing judgment on others or not. When I speak of judgments, I only speak of judgments we inadvertently pass on private lives and actions of others thinking of ourselves being better at what we pass the judgment on. For example, being a better parent, being a better wife, being a better worker, etc etc. When me and P started living together post-marriage, one of the main disagreements we used to have was in regards to whether to judge or not to judge. He’d be quick to call someone ’stupid’ or an ‘idiot’ whilst I was always a cheerleading member of the ‘he/she must have a reason to do what he/she did’ squad. Eventually, over the two years together, he is now a changed man in this respect on his own accord. He tries not to blurt out his judgments anymore. Whether or not he judges in his head, that’s not my concern as long as he doesn’t make his judgments public and doesn’t discriminate against anyone based on those judgments.
That’s the same issue that RNBDJ attempts to address and fails miserably. It wants to talk of the importance of loving a heart rather than outward appearance but gets confused somewhere in the middle and forgets what it started out to actually mean. The whole RNBDJ scenario played itself out in real-life quite recently in UK in fact. I am sure you must’ve heard of Susan Boyle by now. Millions of blogs across the universe are talking about her. If you have been holed up under your bed and away from real world for some reason, here is a video of her. She is an overnight phenomenon in UK because she unexpectedly sang well on one of their talent shows. She was not expected to perform well because:
1. she is not your conventionally pretty lady
2. she is 47 and has never been kissed
3. she is unemployed and lives alone with a cat named Pebbles
People judged her. Based on their misplaced assumptions. And it blew up in their face. Rightfully so. And she became a household name just because of that. She is a reminder of how ugly as a society we have become to judge people based on how they look and what they choose to do with their life. She unknowingly delivered a tight slap on the face of the self-proclaimed owners of the so-called high-life. She shamed those who would laugh at her at the pub that she might frequent. She challenged the person that lives in all of us and doesn’t think twice before passing a judgment on someone else: be it negative or positive. She questioned all of us to change our way of thinking … to accept our flaws … and perhaps do a better job at being a civilized society.
There was a time when slavery was also considered normal. It is no longer that day. Hopefully, a day will come when we won’t justify ‘judging others’ as normal too.
Yes, I see it as a justification. A blog-friend (aware of my interest in this topic) directed me to MM’s blog a couple of days ago. What surprized me the most is the number of people saying … “All of us judge. It’s alright as long as we don’t take it personally ourselves.”
hmm …. really? So instead of taking it up as a challenge to change ourselves into someone who would not judge anybody, we accept the flaw as a part of us and, thus, justify living it everyday? Or perhaps not everyone sees it as a flaw? I don’t understand how we can pass a judgment on someone without knowing all information about them. This weekend, it rained heavily in Houston. P told me that someone had drove into a flooded ditch and all 5 occupants of the car including 3 children died. He further added that the driver was drunk and on a cell phone. My first reaction was: “what an irresponsible parent”! Then, immediately, I found myself thinking that perhaps he had a bad childhood himself. Maybe he got into drug abuse/substance abuse at an early age and perhaps he never learned what it is to be a good parent. Who am I to pass a judgment sitting in my comfortable living room living my comfortable life?
Stopping yourself mid-track when you are about to pass a judgment completely changes your perspective on life. MM mentions that if you don’t judge, you must be God. I left a comment on her blog in jest stating that I must be almost God then. Of course, that was a joke. Of course, I am no God … I am as normal as my friends living next door … but I want to try hard to block any judgmental thoughts that infiltrate my head. I just don’t want to say that everyone judges and it’s normal; so it’s ok if I do it too. Nope, it’s not okay for me. My life is much happier when I don’t do it. My life is much more rewarding when I give everyone a chance and make an effort to understand where they are coming from rather than writing ‘em off. My days are much more brighter when I don’t feel anything negative (or positive) for and about anyone.
And the days that I let judgments seep in, I certainly don’t want to live those days again. Surely, I have those days too … but with practice and mind control, they are reducing in number. I could joke that I might be turning into God … but really, I am only wanting to become more and more human … learn to be more in control of my emotions … learn to use the advantage that we have over our fellow species. Nope, I am not there yet … we are all hard-wired to judge … or / else our ancestors would have had a tough time surviving … but times have evolved … so should we … the struggle is on … that’s exactly why you find me writing about this topic a lot. Thoughts keep crossing my head. I keep getting different messages from people around me, people who I read etc … and then I use this medium to sort those thoughts out. Come what may, the only conclusion that I always come to is that there is no justification for us judging anyone else’s private life and decisions, and especially for us making those judgments public.
And that is Judge Roo’s final ruling. ;)
If judging others based on whatever reasons is normal now, do remember that slavery was also normal once upon a time.
Edited to add:
This article (a must-read) talks about how ‘all of us judge’ and don’t even know but how we can rise above it:
As Malcolm Gladwell reminded us all in Blink, and how teams of neurologists and psychologists have shown, we human beings excel at snap judgments, and at decisions so intuitive we don’t even know we’ve made them. This talent has, over the aeons, ensured our survival in a perilous world. If our caveman ancestors had to think about whether that hairy beast over there is friend or foe, they’d get eaten. [...] We chide ourselves on being superficial, but we’re superficial all the time, in ways which even ad men have yet to exploit. We’re hard-wired to be superficial.
(however)
In past decades, our country kept racist laws on the books because that’s what traditional values dictated, and that’s how we white people felt in our guts. Today, as the title of this piece suggests, I think we’re reacting similarly toward same-sex marriage: condemned by some (though not all) traditional values, it strikes many people as wrong, even disgusting, on a gut level. And that is the end of the discussion.
But guts should never be the end of a moral conversation. If Western religion has taught us anything, it is that there is a moral value in transcending our baser instincts — and that includes the snap judgments all of us make all the time. At first, and maybe for a while, adjustments to our gut reactions may not “feel right.” But they are the defining marks of our humanity.
This is what connects a pop-culture moment such as Susan Boyle’s “I Dreamed a Dream” with the moral grandeur of Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream.”
We may be hard-wired to judge people in an instant, and to feel those judgments deep down in our guts. But only once we rise above them can we allow such dreams to soar.
An article after my heart! Splendid!
On a related note, I leave you with a piece from Guardian: a brilliant article written by Tanya Gold. She talks of the expectation of ‘female beauty’ by us – the people – in ‘It wasn’t singer Susan Boyle who was ugly on Britain’s Got Talent so much as our reaction to her‘:
This lust for homogeneity in female beauty means that when someone who doesn’t resemble a diagram in a plastic surgeon’s office steps up to the microphone, people fall about and treat us to despicable sub-John Gielgud gestures of amazement.
Susan will probably win Britain’s Got Talent. She will be the little munter that could sing, served up for the British public every Saturday night. Look! It’s “ugly”! It sings! And I know that we think that this will make us better people. But Susan Boyle will be the freakish exception that makes the rule. By raising this Susan up, we will forgive ourselves for grinding every other Susan into the dust. It will be a very partial and poisoned redemption. Because Britain’s Got Malice. Sing, Susan, sing – to an ugly crowd that doesn’t deserve you.
Read the rest here.
really!!
1. I got an offer today from a desi radio show host to co-host his morning show with him. I told him that I didn’t like to hear his show at all and thought that it was brain-rot but he still was okay with me co-hosting. ;? He even said that he’d pay me for it too. It’s only a couple of hours on weekday mornings, he added, and that I’d have a different view about the show a couple of weeks into it. Ummmm I … don’t … know … if that would happen … but I am thinking of giving it a shot. Hey, he’s paying me for talking nonsense and giggling for a couple of hours … plus it’ll put me in the habit of waking up early. ;p But really man … talking nonsense and giggling can earn you money? What is wrong with the world!
2. You might’ve heard of G20 by now especially since the anarchist protests have claimed one life. If you’ve heard of G20, you must’ve heard of Michelle Obama’s *oooh hush hush* ‘misdemeanor‘ with the queen. She hugged the queen! Oh noooooo!!!!! Does she not know that you don’t touch the queen!?!! How dare she break THE protocol!?!?! Oh no no no what did Michelle do!!?!!!! Blasphemy! As if economy wasn’t bad enough, she has now enraged the christian Gods even more!!
Of course, I am sarcastic.
How preposterous are these ‘protocols’ et al surrounding the Royal family though eh?! What is wrong with the world?!? It’s 2009 for crying out loud. Madness. That aside, Americans aren’t Queen’s subjects; so why should Americans follow the outdated protocol? Bah. You Brits, Canadians (roopie hides) and Australians and whoever else who still regards the Queen as their head of state can shove it. I shall now file for an American green card if that’s what it takes to defy monarchy and honor democracy! :)
3. This piece of news is sad but I do want to write about it cuz I believe all of us must do as much as we can to spread the word.
Pakistan region in grip of fear as leader begins to implement sharia law.
Here’s a video of a 17-year old girl getting flogged for being seen with a married man which is wrong as per ….?!? I wonder. Only watch the video if you have the heart to do so. I couldn’t watch past the first few seconds.
The woman’s brother is among the men pinning her down, she added. “It’s symbolic that he does it with his own hands. It gives him honour in local society, that he has done it for the sake of religion.”
What really is wrong with the world?
*sigh*
Fitness Fervor: a fitness related blog
okie roopscoop’s going to take a break today cuz roopie’s been setting up fitness-fervor today.
howeva, roopscoop has nothing to worry about cuz it’d still be equally adored as ever. :p
anyway, here … do give Fitness Fervor some love too please?
it’s here!! :)
Rani Mukerji’s birthday ;) Roo’s celebration of the best commitment that she has ever made! :)) Officially two years old! :)
Thank you for all your wishes, guys! :))
We leave for our mini getaway in a few hours. I should get some shut-eye. This evening was busy. A cousin from Toronto decided to surprize us with a visit! And guess what she says when she first sees me, “WOW! You’ve filled in quite nicely! You look so different! Gained weight and all!” Blah! What a conversation starter! Deflate Roo’s ego on an important evening hehe. Nah, she’s excused. She saw me after 14 years!! I was still a freckly teenager when she had seen me last. Lots has changed since. She is a mother to a 4 year old cutest little girl now. Her eyes have sunk in due to family issues that she is going through. She looks much older than her 33. I couldn’t believe that this was the same girl who was getting chased by every eligible bachelor in her town in India and around. She was an established fashion designer. She had walked catwalks. She had various modeling offers lined up. She had it all going for her … but she let it go for a man who she followed to Canada. 7 years later, she’s still in that marriage trying to ‘make it work’. She had a kid with him because she thought that would help the relationship (agh, how many women will fall into that trap?) Of course, it didn’t help. But she stays on … because she wants her daughter to have a father.
Tonight, after she left us post-dinner, I was feeling bad for her and said to P casually that life is so harsh sometimes. He replied quite practically, “She is where she is today because of the choices she made. Life presents all of us with challenges but it’s up to us to make choices that will keep our life simple and without unnecessary burdens and complications. She could’ve chosen not to marry him.”
“How could she have known, P?” I asked.
“Well, when did find out, she should’ve left him because she had the support of her family who were encouraging her to leave him. Why didn’t she?”
“Because it is really not that simple and straightforward, P.” I went on with my reasons … Here’s a detailed answer to why victims stay with their abusers.
P listened and empathized. For someone who has never experienced domestic violence, the question of why a victim stays with an abusive partner can be very difficult to understand.
It’s tough that her life is the way it is but she is making the best of it that she can for now. I hope that she can find true happiness in her future and not have to hide her premature wrinkles by excessive pretend-laughing as she does now.
With that thought, I sign off … thankful for all that I have … hopeful that it will only get better … and wishing for the same for you, dear reader.
Thanks for your company, guys. :) See you after the w/end.
Edited to add:
I feel terrible for not having done a romantic countdown especially since I had promised myself … argh … btu shall try upon return. :|
Tobacco accounts for over 450,000 deaths a year.
Alcohol kills more than 100,000 every year.
Marijuana accounts for none.
Science says that painkillers currently available in the market are much more dangerous than marijuana.
People die of overdose of painkillers all the time but marijuana poses “no risk of overdose death.”
So why is govt ignoring findings of science that marijuana is a safe painkiller and playing to the (undoubtedly very strong) pharmaceutical and tobacco lobbies?
A must watch documentary: The Union – the business behind getting high (a trailer)
Hope y’all are having a great weekend.
… who benefits in America?
1. McDonalds
Yep, when in depression, we eat burgers, drink booze and go on a killing spree. Yay America!
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