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~ roop rai
Hey youuu!!! STOPP!!! :D
Hi,
At SpeakBindas.com, we interview bloggers and get to know about their blogging life. So far, we have interviewed many bloggers for this series. Continuing the same, we would like to interview as well.
This would be an online interview, i.e. we will send you questionnaire via email.
On receiving the same, we will publish your interview on SpeakBindas.com and intimate its url accordingly.
Upon your consent we move ahead.
–
Regards
Devang Vibhakar
(Editor) – http://www.Speakbindas.com
Cell: +91 96243 29206 (Rajkot, Gujarat – India)
that’s kind, speakbindas, but i think i’d pass. :)
I used to too sure of myself. I knew why I did something. I knew the reasons for my actions/inactions. I knew the assumptions I made to conclude a certain something.
Not anymore. I do not understand myself anymore. And I am jealous of people of can do it. I do not understand people. I try, but I don’t understand. I know .. rather I have come to believe over the time that a certain set of concepts like “language”, “assumptions”, “opinions/judgments”, “perception of reality”, “perception of truth”, “right vs wrong”, “objectivity vs subjectivity” and some such others are important to my life.
I like interacting with people. I think I am very social person in terms of approaching and being approachable.
I keep coming back to the discussion on “opinions vs judgments” on your blog (I don’t follow your blog, I was directed to the link from google) . It sort of helps me clear my thoughts.
But all the interaction has made me even more confused in understand others.
Would you care to comment? I don’t know what I am asking of you though.
Thanks,
HR
Thank you for writing in, HR. :) I am not sure about what you are asking of me either. :D
But from what I can make out … that with time, you’re realizing that not everything is in your control. That’s a sign of growing up … a positive sign that you mustn’t fight. Most of us are too sure of ourselves when we’re in our teenage but, as we age, that cock-sureness usually settles down. We start realizing that we are malleable and that’s what makes us human. We change with time. Our attitudes change, our perceptions change. We learn from our surroundings and change our views as per the new information fed to us. We realize that the learning curve will never fall flat for us. We’ll continue to grow and learn as time progresses and that’s the only natural way of things. If we fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual teenage, I don’t know how rewarding a life it would be.
Having said that, there are plenty of people stuck in that phase who have successful family and professional lives. They know exactly who they are and what they are capable of and do not ever ‘contradict’ themselves. Their rigidity can be overwhelmingly frustrating to others but, in most cases, people around them learn to live with them too. Imagine if everyone was that rigid … it’d be a world much worse than it is today. Luckily, some of us can choose to NOT lead a life of absolute certainties. We mold ourselves according to the people we are with. We are social in its truest sense. We don’t expect others to change for us but we change ourselves for them without them realizing it. We are willing to take it easy and change whichever way circumstances take us. I see it as an advantage we have over rigidity those sure of themselves live with. :)
I am sure I didn’t even close to answer to what you were trying to ask heh … but hey, you gave me an idea for a blog post. :D I hope I helped …. ?!?
I had written because its easier for me discuss my thoughts/oddities with a stranger than a close friend for the fear of being judged. I have been already labeled as selfish (which to a certain extent I am), a flirt (a difference of opinion there), dishonest/liar etc. But I had never been hurt or disturbed so much that it ruined my sleep for more than a day. So most things don’t hurt me as long as they don’t deal with the question of my loyalty towards friendships or say someone accused me of being untrustworthy and such.
I get over things so quickly that it seems like I do not care. I beg to differ and say I do care but I do not want to hold something against a person which would affect the relationship.
I am usually under the impression that I am unique. So does everyone and so is everyone.
But I know for a fact that I am an insensitive person which was a result of forcing myself go through a process, what I call “de-sensitization” (losing a parent at an early age, reinforced when my girl friend broke up with me a few years ago, the vast volume of wisdom that I seek by reading in-numerous number of books since the time I realized there is more to life and not to forget the valuable experiences that life offered for the last 25 years has all lead me to this… sometimes I think I did it because I wanted to escape from being hurt which probably is true… so whats wrong with wanting to be happy.. choosing not to be bothered with most of the stuff?)
I am naturally inclined to put all my energies (emotional/mental/physical) in understanding the world, study the famous conflict between science and religion, why I do no believe in god or have any faith and even more so why I ain’t an atheist still. I occupy myself by trying to understand science. I also want to understand human psychology. Why people do what they do and what people mean when they speak and the likes of such.
I do not make resolutions, I do not make judgments I have a few passions – reading, learning and helping myself become a wise person/improve my intellect and become intelligent. But thats not enough in terms of the expectations the social circle demands of me. I am expected to gossip. I am expected to indulge in teasing and mockery. I have noticed that mocking a person of being something over time does affect the way others perceive that person as.
One of the main questions I ask myself is “Am I living a life based on social norms?”. I know what the question is asking of me, but I find it hard to answer that question because I am afraid that I am too confident of my sense of perception of reality. How does one find out if he is biased in his self-judgment?
I live in a world where expectations, tacit and otherwise, seem absurd. (what if I am making a judgment right there? Isn’t that hypocritical of me then?) I live in a society where gossip is the daily way of life. Mocking/hatred/judgment are banal. I have a problem with all that. Knowing that, I now want to answer the question “What if I have a problem with all of it because, having a problem with such things makes me an iconoclast and I like the idea of calling myself that?”.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying I want to be a saint. I know I can be unethical about certain things.
But there are these things I want to embed into my personality and allow no changes.
To a large extent I understood that life is far too beautiful even with all the ups and downs to waste time on things that people usually are preoccupied with.
May be I am trying to ask this !
What is the way to lead a happy life? (not that I ain’t happy right now… I am happy despite all the thoughts that enter my head) I understand when you say – not everything is in our control. I never meant to control everything. I just mean to control my thoughts. The power of my thoughts will help me lead the life I want to. Being biased will not help and I guess I am trying to find a way to figure out if one or more or thought processes are biased in one form or the other?
But the constant speculation has made it even more worse.
P.S: I believe that the more a person speaks, the more is revealed about him/her.
HR
dare i say that you are not insensitive or desensitized at all? :) if you were, you wouldn’t be thinking and writing as you did.
Your “Women beating men” Is showing an error and has not been posted. Please check.
oops, i didn’t intend for it to. :p
will do tomorrow.
Hey Roop…
It has been so terribly long that I have visited your blog.. I used to be a regular you know. Life caught up with me, i guess. Well, I finally did visit and see this wonderful beautiful news of the little baby girl! Congratulations sweetheart..! Bet she is as lovely as you.
Hope you are doing well!
Lots and lots of love… :)
Tanu
tanuu!! it has been a while. thank you so muchhh!! huggs. let’s talk again sometime.